deliafrances:

someone wanted me to write a page for their zine about being a girl in a band, so i might as well post it on here, right?

On being a girl in a band

There are so many factors that contribute to my experience in this music scene and to try to sum it all up in about a page would be nearly impossible, but I might as well try and start at the beginning. I started going to DIY shows in Chicago with some friends of mine before I lived in the city or was in a band. Being a girl, I always felt wildly out of place because, let’s face it, at this time there were way more guys in the scene than gals (and probably still are, but it’s not like I am counting). Even though I felt out of place, I never felt unwelcome or unwanted by other attendees of the shows. After a few months I began to meet more people and started dating someone in the scene who was, and still is, awesome at introducing me to new friends and acquaintances. Eventually we started a band which opened my eyes to different music scenes all over the country.

Touring as a very feminine girl is a really neat experience because I can see how people react to my image and music in all different states and cities. Some scenes are very similar to Chicago’s where I feel super accepted as just another member of the band, but sometimes I meet a jerk who feels like they need to go out of their way to tell me they were pleasantly “surprised” with how well I played because I am a girl. Luckily this doesn’t happen super often, but it makes me feel super alienated when someone makes a big deal about me being a girl in a band or at a show.

I honestly don’t think that being a female musician should necessarily be about standing out in the music scene, but I also don’t think that girls should feel like they have to fit in or “assimilate” with the guys either. Some people come up to us after shows and say “hey guys, oh, and girl!” or write us messages calling me “the girl”, and I don’t really think these terms are fair or make me feel particularly good. I have a name and that name happens to not be “the girl”. No need to point it out that I am female and in a band. I am not trying to make a statement by being in a band, I just happen to like playing this type of music with some of my favorite people in the world. If someone else does, they should be able to go for it no matter what gender they identify with.

We are all human beings and should be respected and welcomed as such, right? Yes.  

[tl;dr moral of the story is to be good to each other and accept everyone.]

hi yeah read this it’s important